a new exhibition

I have never done so much work for an exhibition project. a new exhibition. what is so new about it? it is the experience in its self. I realised that I am no longer a single artist. What does that mean? Artist work with their name. my name today is like a platform for a collaborative project. I am not that interested in trying to be a single artist. I embrace meetings, get surprises during the construction.  I am becoming less cheerful, less jolly these days. I speak in such a soft voice that surpasses my own expectation. perhaps, I am becoming this tough person who pretended to be tough. Yet there are always these beautiful spirit that awakes me. they are the other people. I melt in the beautiful presence of the spirit. And that is why I can still do the same exhibition, differently every time. Because I am touched by others, others in the photographs and others in the process of creating an exhibition. I love learning and that is why I do things. I love to listen to people and their knowledge and also study possibilities. What can I do differently this time? I study materials and what they are , how do they react, what can be possible and how well can I communicate with everyone so everyone can bloom in this experience. That is the only reason why I do exhibition. I don't really need to do more shows. I am probably so different from people who uses photography to be recognised. my ego is only about this process of making. can I do it? will this ever become real?will this be a surprise for some people who see it?  I like it when it scares me to work on an exhibition project where I have never challenged myself nor others to make it come real. I am this kind of person. I like challenges for the sake of the challenge. Every exhibition is for me a play ground that needs to bring something to the viewer, something little more than indifference. When I was younger, people were very critical of my work. I used to be shocked. these days these criticalness isn't what shocks me. It is the fact that things I planned to do can actually become alive. It is only about an imagination. I imagine things as I like imagining things. It doesn't turn out exactly as I imagine. Yet they make me very happy. This happiness is something that is close to the most joyful state I can be. Like when I was looking up at the blue sky as a child. infinite joy that expands within my body and soul.